Those who are engaged in the win-win process but fail to reach an agreement will often prefer to disagree, what Stephen Covey describes as the “win-win-or-disagree” paradigm, an even higher expression of the “win-win” mentality. Mom agrees not to harass the laundry until Monday if it`s not done. She also gives him time in his room before dinner. If her son needs help with schoolwork, she is willing to take him to the tutor early in the morning and can help him get organized if he asks. Unless something unexpected happens, Son can go to the game with friends on Friday due to compliance with the agreement. Habits 1 to 3 are located under the middle of the diagram and are those habits that lead you from dependency to independence to being both an effective and efficient project manager. Habit 4 is located above the middle of the diagram and puts you on the path to interdependence and building a great project team. Too many people give in to another party`s programs to avoid conflict. You agree to lose so that the other person can win. It`s a win-lose deal. This does not have to be the case. I encourage my subordinates and partners to go into detail to ensure a good partnership.
I teach them to use this model where you cover five different areas and come to an agreement where both parties win. Here`s Covey`s explanation of how this works: Developing win-win performance agreements is the core business of management that allows employers to manage themselves under the agreement. Then, the manager can take action and remove barriers so that employees can do their jobs. According to Stephen Covey, the five elements of a win-win agreement are: The win-win agreement is a great tool to help families find the right balance. I invite you to try the win-win deal. Start with something small. See how things develop and build from there. One of dr. Covey`s favorite videos is when he describes his own experiences with his son and their win-win deal. Think of an upcoming interaction in which you will try to reach an agreement or negotiate a solution. Commit to maintaining a balance between courage (your victory) and consideration (the victory of other parties). The other thing to keep in mind is that you don`t create an “agreement” or “buy-in,” just a “question” when you stop at the “I” language.
It is the language of “we” that transforms it: “This is what we want to achieve, when, within the framework of our following guidelines, with the following resources, according to our following standards, etc.” So let`s take the problem from above. In this scenario, mother and son could make and write an agreement like this: it is a fact that people think differently due to differences in faith, culture, or experience. Some are dominant in the right brain, which are greater in imagination and creativity, while others are dominant in the left brain and superior in analysis and numbers. In these differences, how can we reach an agreement that ultimately ensures that all people can happily fulfill their roles and responsibilities to achieve the same desired outcome? Let me now be completely honest. The downside of a win-win deal is that it requires more time and more work. The tendency is to fall back and go straight back to the old patterns. When we find that our child has failed, we may immediately want to bully again, abandon or outgiv our children and say, “It won`t work.” You may have heard of thinking win/win or finding the 3rd alternative, but how do you create an effective deal? In the book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey describes the five elements of the win/win deal. Win/Win is a posture of mind and heart that is constantly seeking mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win/Win means that agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and mutually satisfying. As mentioned earlier, efficiency can be increased far beyond what we can achieve on our own when two proactive, mission-driven, and organized people meet. Win/Win is a synergistic situation in which both parties can benefit from each other.
Win/Win requires a certain amount of investment to promote its appearance. The first step is to recognize what the status of our human interaction is at any given time. We must ask ourselves not only what we want, but also what the other party wants from a particular situation, taking into account that it is acceptable to leave if no common agreement is reached (win/win or no agreement). Other application suggestions can be found in his original book: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lesson in Personal Change. What do you think makes up the WIN-WIN agreement? The concept of a win-win deal comes from the work of Dr. Stephen R. Covey and his original book on The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. That said, you can use the same elements for a winner/winner or a winner/loser, depending on how you approach it. The winner/win starts with the mindset and approach before working through the agreement and continues as you work towards the agreement.
Fourth, define responsibility. Holding people accountable for results gives teeth to the win-win deal. When there is no responsibility, people gradually lose their sense of responsibility and begin to blame circumstances or other people for their poor performance. But when people participate in setting the exact standard for acceptable performance, they feel deeply responsible for achieving the desired results. Creating a win-win deal goes even further. It is an informal or formal agreement that takes into account all parties involved. It is a powerful tool to deal with these difficult and stressful problems. Without No Deal, many of these businesses simply deteriorate and fail or have to be entrusted to professional managers. Experience shows that when starting a family business or a business with friends, it is often better to recognize the possibility of a no deal downstream and enter into some kind of buy/sell agreement so that the business can thrive without permanently harming the relationship. How do you come to an agreement that allows BOTH parties to win? Stephen Covey says the following five elements need to be included: The next step is to start creating an agreement. Dr.
Covey describes 5 elements of an effective win-win agreement The agreement can be written by the employee to the manager to confirm understanding. And if we can`t find it, then let`s agree that we won`t make a deal at all. It would be better not to deal with it than to live with a decision that does not suit both of us. So maybe we can meet another time. “But win/win is good. and hard. It`s twice as difficult as winning/losing, to win/win, you don`t just have to be nice, you have to be brave. You don`t just need to be empathetic, you also need to have confidence in yourself. The son agrees to take care of the laundry until Sunday evening and to have dinner with his family. He will also spend time after dinner talking and helping with the dishes. In addition, he agrees to maintain his grades, declare his current average on Sunday night and put his cell phone back to 10 p.m.m every night.
In an effort to maintain the relationship, people sometimes compromise one after another for years, thinking about winning/losing or losing/winning, even when talking about a win/win. This creates serious problems for people and for the company, especially when competition is based on win/win and synergy. With a win-win approach, you move from combat to collaboration. Trust will grow and ultimately your relationship. And if I focus on my own victory and don`t even consider your point of view, there is no basis for any kind of productive relationship. In the long run, if it`s not a win for both of us, we both lose. That`s why Win/Win is the only real alternative in interdependent realities. Covey notices our natural tendency to think in dichotomies, in terms of one or the other. We tend to think that when we are nice, we are not hard. Next week Habit 5: Try to understand first, then be understood To do this, you need to engage with stakeholders – customers, suppliers, project sponsors, other functional managers, and members of your team. The spirit you use in negotiations will determine the success of your team.
When you identify no-nos or sacred cows, you also identify a person`s level of initiative in terms of various responsibilities: should the person wait for someone to tell them, or ask every time they have a question, or study it and then make a recommendation, or do it and report it immediately, or do it and report it and report it regularly? In this way, expectations are clarified and limits are set. There are circumstances in which you want to win, and you wouldn`t care much about how that gain relates to others. For example, if your child`s life was in danger, you might be concerned about other people and circumstances. But saving that life would be paramount. @ Martine – It is worth reading the book to get the full elaboration. Disagree basically means that if we can`t find a solution that would benefit both of us, we agree to disagree – Disagree.. .